It has been several years that I have been working on allowing good things to come to me. I am a giver. I mean I am more comfortable giving than receiving. Sounds noble doesn’t it? But it isn’t. It worked at some point in my life. Perhaps when I was raising little babies and that is all we do is give to our children so they can be satiated. Feeding, diapers, bathing, rocking. I loved it, but then when the transition from being giving to receiving came. I didn’t catch the clues. It has become a problem. I have a hard time receiving. I mean, it’s not comfortable to me.
Perhaps it comes from feeling I am taking from others or not being cooperative when I speak up about my needs. Where ever it came from it is a lie.
The universe, god, source, soulful self recently slapped me in the face (in the most loving way) to wake me up! It is not comfortable for me to receive love. It is unfamiliar. I reject love. I reject love to the point that the people I love most in my life, wish I knew how much they loved me. That stung. I love them, isn’t that the same. NO! No it’s not. I realized by not receiving their love, I am REJECTING their love. It’s like they are giving me the most beautifully wrapped gift I have ever seen. Just the wrapping is beautiful and indicates something glorious inside. And in my uncomfortable space, I smile and say no thank you.
How do I receive love? I don’t want to reject it any longer. It is the source to healing, joy, abundance. It is the energy source of creation. Learning to receive love is essential. How do I receive love? In the past I created a story that if I love, then I can get hurt. I have been hurt. We have been hurt. The truth is, I have been betrayed by ex husbands and that hurt. But the real truth is, I have not yet healed this deep source of pain from years ago. That is what has been revealed to me. I didn’t know it was affecting me in this way. I reject love. Because……
I stop there. I am not going to create a story around it. This my sisters, is where we must stop. Stop with creating the story to understand or to soothe our pain. Instead, let’s get to the source and heal the wound and reveal a beautiful part of ourselves. How do we do this?
Loving Triage. That is what I teach as an Energy Codes facilitator. The first step in doing a loving triage is to image what love feels like. It could be a person, place or even a thing. Maybe a grandma, favorite place as a kid, a flower or pet. Something that helps you feel over the top love. If those things don’t exists, imagine what love would feel like. That ooey, gooey, warmth of love. Once you have that imagined, start to feel it in your body. Let it swirl within you, just feeling it. Keep the image of love in your mindseye. Breath in and out as you allow that love to settle in your body. Take 6-10 breaths just allowing this love to integrate into your body. Place your hands on your heart and feel all of this love. Say the words “this love is for me”. Accept it into your heart and into your body.
In my workshop I teach you how to use this more deeply. I wanted to share the first step, because it works anytime you feel like you need to receive love. I am practicing this because my experiences are revealing to me, that’s its time I learn how to receive love in a deeper way. I practice daily. I want the feeling of receiving love to be so familiar that it becomes natural. It will take practice. This process is healing me. My relationships deserve Kristen that can receive love. You deserve all the benefits from receiving love. Let me know how it helps you.
