This is the single most important thing you can do to thrive after Divorce.
Recently I was talking to a friend, Tara. We haven’t talked for a while because we live in different states, we have kids and business. You know all the normal excuses not talk for a while. Like us, she has been divorced for a while now. I was excited to tell her that I was publishing my book NOW WHAT? A Guide To Thriving After Divorce. I wanted her to read it before I launched it.
During our conversation we talked about kids and pandemics. We talked about court cases with ex’s. We talked dating and love. Then Tara asked me, “If you could narrow it down, what is the one thing that is most important to thrive after divorce?”
My mouth began to water a little bit. I felt a little twinkle in my eye of excitement. What a juicy question. I breathed in and sighed as I thought for a moment. I knew what it was. It is what made the difference for me. It is what was right before me but took me a few years to realize. “Keep commitments to yourself”, I said.
KEEP YOUR OWN COMMITMENTS! Many of us fall into the poor pattern of self sacrificing behavior in our marriages, relationships and with our kids. We put our needs on the back burner for others. And at the end of the day, the week, 10 years, we wonder why we feel depleted. STOP! DOING THIS! We are our best when we are abundance. Self sacrificing behavior is a dead end road.
When we decide something is important to us, we make time for it. Guess what? YOU are the most important to take care of first. When my mind was struggling, my body was unhealthy and my business was struggling, I knew I had to make changes. When I kept choosing to drink and party and it wasn’t serving my best person, I knew I had to make changes. It started with one habit. Keep the commitments I made to myself.
I had to start doing a few things and stop doing a few things. I made and kept a commitment to , wake up early, going to bed early, do yoga 3-4 times a week kept a schedule. I stopped partying on weekdays and weekends, I stopped eating crap foods, I stopped hanging around low energy people. I reminded myself daily what was important and kept those basic commitments to myself.
Then I did it the next day and the next day and then next. A year later, my life had completely transformed into one that I love. You want the biggest game changer after divorce? Make a commitment to yourself to start and stop behaviors that will help you. Then repeat daily.
What do you need to thrive? What are three things you need to start doing? Stop doing?
