Change is the only constant in life. I heard this phrase several years ago and I agreed then. Today I agree whole heartedly as I have continued to be shown this is accurate. Does fear play a role in your life?
As a young child I was quiet and observant. I recall around 7 or 8 years old I started looking at the extended members of my family with curiosity about their lives. The aunt and uncle that were business owners with a nice home and cars. They looked healthy and vibrant. Their kids were doing well and they were a close knit family. Then the other aunt who struggled with her kids and the day to day tasks that we all have to attend to seemed like insurmountable obstacles. Then the drug addicted family member where violence, cheating, lying and chaos was the norm.
We lived in a small town so I got to see my family members frequently. Being young I still had the innocence of a child, I loved them all and they all had the beautiful qualities that made me laugh and appreciate them. I didn’t judge them as “good” or “bad”. Watching all the characters in my family caused me to ask myself what kind of life I wanted to have. What was important to the kind of life I wanted?
We learn as we travel into adulthood, it is choices that make the difference. Go to any high school reunion and you will see the people that seem to be stuck in high school. The brainy people now doing amazing things. The jail bird, musician, business owner, the mom, business executives, all of them represented and all the in between without labels. It is choices. An agreement to change from where we stand now to where the potential is in the future. The power of choice is that catalyst.
But what keeps us from making those changes when we know we have choice? Lack of opportunity? Resources? Skills? Ideas? The right people? While these may seem true, there is one before all of these that keep us stuck. Fear.
The fear of missing the opportunity. The fear of not having enough resource of money, time or health. The fear of not being “good enough” or able enough in having the skills necessary. The fear of sharing ideas or being mocked and feeling dumb. Fear of meeting the people who could change the game for your needed change.
That feeling of fear is asking you to do something. It’s asking you to crush old beliefs. Abandon old, worn out thought patterns. Question social norms that when looked at really aren’t helpful. and create division. Stand up to family culture that doesn’t help you to change. Fear is asking you to quit or develop the habits to help you soar into change with courage. Fear is the igniter for tremendous transformation. Fear gives you a pause to take a breath and decide to change.
The desire to change is met first with fear. But when we understand that fear is the pause to take a breath and grab a handfuls of courage and fill your pockets then we know the natural next step is to go forward. This is how we break the prison of fear. No longer do we dismiss our thoughts. No longer do dismiss our power and ability. No longer do we dismiss the quality of our ideas. No longer do we shy away from opportunities. No longer do we avoid the people we need to connect with.
Recognizing fear for what it really is, the ignitor, has led me to wonderful places. I have created a successful real estate business. I have amazing friends in business and life. My children are succeeding. My financial education has expanded exponentially. I have an amazing therapist that walked me through putting down old thought patterns and habits that have held me prison for years. After many failed marriages, I am now happily married and thriving.
What change is needed in your life? What has been stalling you? How is your misuse of fear keeping you in prison? Please consider, if you need to crush old beliefs. Are there old, worn out thought patterns that need to be abandoned? Look at social norms that you follow are they helpful and create unity? Do you need to stand up to family culture that doesn’t help you to change? Is this fear is asking you to quit or develop the habits to help you soar into change with courage?
Seek the tools to break out of your prison. My favorites are books, podcasts, audio books, youtube videos, therapy, music, nature walks, meditation, writing, reflection, meeting experts in the area of change. What three actions can you take in this next week to break free?
Remember fear is the igniter for tremendous transformation. Fear gives you a pause to take a breath and decide to change. Fill your pocket with courage and go do the things. Create the change you want to be part of your life. You can do it and fear is your ignitor.